Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Philosophical at 4am.

In a discussion with a trusted associate in the early hours of this morning seeing as neither could sleep with the heat and tribulations of the mind, we spoke of many things in our usual serious and occasionally satirical manner. From the talk of the future to the thoughts on why it is, I suffer from blackouts of which my MRI scans and doctoral attention could never pick upon the reason. Perhaps the medicine taken is a cause of the condition I suffer akin to epilepsy whereby I blackout rather then have a seizure possibly from the original contraction of meningitis which left me deafened and living with severe tinnitus 24/7.

These thoughts lead to two avenues; one of which the tragic news I read today whilst in the sunshine meant I didn't fully grasp the story of Little Sam and his parents Neil and Kazumi and could imagine that if I had died when I was in hospital the first 6 months of my life or when I had meningitis, my mother would of been beyond herself with grief. It is unimaginable that your child is disabled following a car crash then contracting meningitis that eventually kills the very being you brought into the world. The guilt and the absence of their little son meant their hearts would never heal so they took his deceased body in a rucksack and the pair jumped off the cliffs of Beachy Head to their deaths. I can only hope they rest in soft heavenly peace.

The second thought of self-encouragement to create a website and further blogs maybe even write literature that allows; tinnitus, epilepsy, deafness, meningitis and pneumonia awareness to be combined. As much as I like to hide behind this wall of permanent calm aggressiveness and dismissing everything with a brooding look, I actually do wish to the situation to improve for instance 1,000 die every year in the UK due to their epilepsy and with the current reliance on iPods and societal changes mean the world is invariably nosier which shall then contribute to an increase in those with hearing losses, I watched See Hear on the BBC which profiled musicians from rock bands of the 70s and 80s with severe tinnitus now. These guys played at high volumes, granted but still it's an issue that faces many if you think about how much damage the ear drums get on a regular basis.

All I know is, I must get involved with the excellent charity work and write more on these subjects hopefully get a booklet or an actual book released to bring the matters to people's attention in the hospital waiting rooms and schools for a start. It is the reason I'm here, I believe.


Cloud of Despair said...

Indeed, I must admit that I was curious about your condition with the blackouts and I am beginning to understand this now.

As for the website idea, I have people that are interested in building a website. I shall ask around and see if they are interested in a website with strong topics.

As for the family, it is such a sad occasion. I wish them to rest in peace, with their child. No family should go through with that.

Good blog as always.

Natural Blues said...

I am fully behind you with regards to your chairty and writing ventures. Anything that can raise awareness for a condition/illness/charity can surely only be a good thing. Even if only a small number of people read it at first, it is better than nothing, and from just putting information out there I'm sure awareness will grow.
As I am your girlfriend I know only too well about the effects of tinnitus, I don't want to pity you, because it is something that you have to put up with. But It makes me upset at times, when I have to watch you try and cope with it when it is really bad.
I think an awareness blog about it maybe a good start. x