Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Ideal Replacements for Alistair Darling and Gordon Brown

Disillusionment of the Labour Government of past blogs on Tales of Isolation and Anger has reached fever pitch. The Budget announcement did little to ease worries of slow economical recovery in my mind, Darling however sees the recession coming to a abrupt halt no later then 2010 which considering the high numbers of job losses seemed hardly plausible to make matters worse he is now on the verge of what many call 'brain drain' process of eliminating the intelligent £150,000+ a year earners to the far away lands of Ireland, Switzerland where they would not have to match the hike in taxes.

Let's face it, if they want to leave then let them. However the Government needs to realise it's immoral ways of taxation and previous 2009 scandals are leading the voters into the pass of the Tories.

Personally I'd rather a new Government was formed, a coalition of genius and character. I'd place the scientist, writers on the backbench with David Starkey as Deputy Prime Minister, who incidentally today I came across his room for writings that looks no different to a typical students let alone a fabulous source of Tudor period knowledge.

The prime minister would have to be Alex Ferguson, a man of supreme footballing and political knowledge. Gifted in man management but perhaps needs to work on his PR. He has spoke highly of Old Old Labour (seeing as this is a mythological replacement of New Labour) with his buddy Alastair Campbell in the New Statesman 'interview' which I say lightly as it seemed to find nothing most Manchester United fans didn't already know about the Scot. To be fair, we would of happily welcomed such information as which condoms he uses (if its good enough for him then more then good enough for us, sales would go through the roof).

But no one would sort this mess out better then him alongside a team of financiers, Alan Shitgar can take a running jump although he has amusing one liners which I cannot help think is scripted by the BBC but uses of words 'spiv' would not go down well on the international front. The star of the Apprentice by the way, on tonight 9pm if you are avoiding work or pre-nightclubbing (which on last nights' basis of Oceana, its best staying at halls of residence) is Nick, Alan Shitgar's assistant who has the face of doom and tongue of acid.

Ah well, I can dream can't I? Oh and I would be Minister of the Deaf (if there was such a role).


Ewarwoowar said...

Not sure I want to think about SAF and condoms, but how about his chewing gum? He could make millions from a sponsorship with Wrigleys or something.

cynical ben said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cynical ben said...

Without wanting too get too far into this topic of conversation I would imagine that Cathy Ferguson has gone through the menopause and therefore Sir Alex's condom days are behind him.

I missed out the word 'days' the first time I typed this message which is why I had to delete it. It gave the sentence a whole different meaning.

Now I cannot get the image out of my head of Sir Alex's bright red sweaty head looming over me with lust in his eyes and gum in his mouth.